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Mind if I redirect this back to the origin of the post? Since the arguments about his wife are put aside, lets give him suggestions on what to do.
As I said, one of my fav. things is showing up unexpectedly at her place, and bending her over the couch and going straight at it.
Another thing I suggest is buy her a nice silk scarf. It's still cold most places so get her to wear it one night. Take her out, wisper sexy thoughts you've had of her all night long (think of this as foreplay). When you get home light candles, take a hot bath together, bathe her (but no sex). Dry her off, take her to bed and lay her down, and then you pull out the scarf. Now you can do MANY things at this point. I love blindfolding her. And you spend the next 30min teasing her, touching in random parts of the body. Also you can tie her up, being silk she can escape if she wants, so no freaking out... also feels MUCH better than plastic or metal.
When you kiss in the morning or at any random time, grab her close and wisper something in her ear "I want you NOW" is always a simple and effective one.
Those are my bag of tricks. Many of my female friends also love when a guy pulls her hair (harder than you'd expect) when the sex starts getting hot.
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