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skier, it may sound harsh but it is the right advice.
You can not control your sister's life and are not responsible for her. My wife was made to feel responsible for her sister and at age 30 she is still coping with the effects of that.
And moi, since your parents don't seem to exert much control, if I were you I would try to find some way to organize your mom's stuff, get it out of the guest room, and move into it if that's at all possible. As a wise person once said "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" or something like that.
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