Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - My sister is failing high school; what should I do?!

skier · 02-03-2005, 12:59 PM

Am I the only one that thinks Charlatan's position is crappy? Sure, it would be great if things worked out between her and the parentals, but things haven't. And now she's doing what most teenagers would do with very little responsibilities and many freedoms- taking advantage and having a good time. If she can't get the right kind of support from her parents, she should at least get it from an older and wiser sister.

If you want to help her out, I suggest you focus on her strengths. Right now she wants to do fashion and music. Fine. She needs to move beyond play to practice though. Before she can gain recognition for those areas in her life she needs to have some degree of mastery over them.

If you want to help her GPA, you're going to have to get involved seriously with her school, and her schoolwork. Give her recognition for even small things she does for school. Encourage her to practice her guitar, or even set up some lessons for her as a gift. Don't give the satisfaction of stimulation by arguing with her or even getting very mad at her for screwing up. Attention, whether good or bad, is addicting.

But what I think would be most important is connect with her. Don't be the bitchy sister that the parents like more because she does so well, and doesn't understand me. be the cool sister that's on my side and believes in me, and wants me to do better. Just talk to her about stuff not about school/grades/her future and do fun stuff with her.

I'm saying it'll take a lot of effort, and a lot of resistance, if you want to affect your sister's life. You have to get involved, not just yell at her from the sidelines.

02-03-2005, 12:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	Am I the only one that thinks Charlatan's position is crappy? Sure, it would be great if things worked out between her and the parentals, but things haven't. And now she's doing what most teenagers would do with very little responsibilities and many freedoms- taking advantage and having a good time. If she can't get the right kind of support from her parents, she should at least get it from an older and wiser sister. If you want to help her out, I suggest you focus on her strengths. Right now she wants to do fashion and music. Fine. She needs to move beyond play to practice though. Before she can gain recognition for those areas in her life she needs to have some degree of mastery over them. If you want to help her GPA, you're going to have to get involved seriously with her school, and her schoolwork. Give her recognition for even small things she does for school. Encourage her to practice her guitar, or even set up some lessons for her as a gift. Don't give the satisfaction of stimulation by arguing with her or even getting very mad at her for screwing up. Attention, whether good or bad, is addicting. But what I think would be most important is connect with her. Don't be the bitchy sister that the parents like more because she does so well, and doesn't understand me. be the cool sister that's on my side and believes in me, and wants me to do better. Just talk to her about stuff not about school/grades/her future and do fun stuff with her. I'm saying it'll take a lot of effort, and a lot of resistance, if you want to affect your sister's life. You have to get involved, not just yell at her from the sidelines. __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim Last edited by skier; 02-03-2005 at 01:05 PM..