Well, they should look like they're really fighting basically. I don't mean they have to be hauling off and belting each other with full force blows, but they shouldn't be timid about it either. If you don't train as though you're really fighting, you won't know what to do when you really fight. These "self defense" schools that have their students dance around in circles while occasionally firing off one punch aren't teaching their guys how to fight - they're teaching them how to get pounded. But that's where it's real hard for the beginner to judge - - - if you knew how to fight you wouldn't be asking someone to teach you how to fight, so logically you don't really know what to look for. That's why if you can find someone you trust who's a good martial artist to go with you and evaluate dojos it's very helpful.
One of the best warning signs to look for is trophies. If they have a shitload of trophies in their lobby and they brag about winning all these tournaments, they're probably not teaching the guys how to fight- they're teaching them how to win tournaments. A strike in a tournament counts even if there's no force behind it and it wouldn't have done any damage at all. That's great for play fighting in tournaments but if you try it against a real attacker you'll be in a lot of trouble.
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