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Bad calcification, a 2nd trip to the OR, complications, dialysis, continual sedation, now maybe the dreaded infection. 4-5 days has become 2+weeks to never.
What could I have done differently? It's hard to feel optimistic. I feel like hell. Need sleep but it only comes a couple hours before showtime. My previous concerns have become so many raindrops.
Tomorrow I'll ask to have one of the nurses removed from our rotation. She's technically weak, she communicates horribly, she keeps turning off the music we took in, and she handles patients like old tires. Then more talk with the surgeon and his team so I can understand the why's and play human message-man for the relatives. Meanwhile I want to crawl into my box of regrets and let everyone figure things out for themselves.
I will miss her terribly. God I hope this turns around.
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