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My oldest girl drank half a bottle of tea tree oil when she was about 18 months old. Her stupid mother forgot to fasten the child proof lid, so it was off to hospital in an ambulance for a lovely charcoal drink.
Other odd things my kids have eaten are half a cockroach (found the other half in her mouth), dry cat food and a wishing stone. I poked her shit all weekend waiting for the darn thing to come out the other end!
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"Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."
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