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i still feel sick about the whole deal but i also realize that this is what happens when i begin to "love" someone, (or whatever) i end up exposing yourself to this. now i get to contemplate things, which sometimes brings more hurt than the actual event but is neccsary.
i cannot believe that cheaters cannot change because i *shock* was a cheater too, i realized that if i didnt care enough about someone to go behind their back i really didnt care about them or their feelings. cheez right, wrong. i confessed and had to look my girlfriend at the time what i did. i got dumped as i deserved. but i think that look in her eyes will never leave me. i guess i could thank her for that someday... i guess what im saying is that i believe that people change. if not life would be rather tragic, and would give into the theory of fate. and i dont think i can believe in that.
i would like to point out that i do not neccessarily believe that she is going to suddenly have an epiphany. im not that nieve. i do think the best advice is to take my time with my decision. being rash would be unfortunate, but if i still feel like i got kicked in teh somach and my face is still numb soon im going to have to do something.
as a side not i have been primarily sober throught this little ordeal and im kinda suprised/impressed. i havent even picked up smoking again. A+ me.
lastly i wanted to thank you all for your advice.
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