Well, you all have offered some verry interesting opinions, this has been a tough time for me trying to get over the guilt of not being noble enough to transcend my superficial desires. Some of you accuse me of being shallow, and well I've thought that too, but when I'm with her and she tells me how much she loves me and yet my eye still wanders and I don't feel that passion, I feel as though I'm robbing her of a "true" love experience, it's like almost all of the ingredients are there except for one, and although it's almost perfect something just doesn't feel right, unfortunately she was the closest one yet and I'm scared that's as close as I'm going to get.........I hope I haven't been too naive in believing the whole package is out there, if that's true then I'm just another poor sap who dared to go for it all and failed miserably.
Thanks for all the comments, it helps to hear an objective point of view. It's too late to fix things with her though, she doesn't want any contact and that hurts, but I guess I'll have to accept that and who knows maybe we'll fix things in the future when looks really don't matter anymore, and I've learned to transcend physical desire.
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