Man,
I understand how you're feeling about this situation, and you obviously care for your wife quite a bit, as every post you've made continues to mention trying to work it out with HER.
You've already been given plenty of good advice, but the point I think you really, really need to understand is that, despite how you feel, you need to take a very aggressive approach in this. GET A LAWYER, DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER *NOT* GETTING A LAWYER. Despite what your wife says, her actions clearly show she does not give two shits about your feelings, and it's quite possible when she starts to realize this is real, she'll be the one taking this approach. It is very true that the woman almost always has the advantage in a divorce proceeding, so it's essential that you get a lawyer to even begin this on the right foot.
I know it's probably the hardest thing to do, but you have to get this woman out of your life and as soon as possible. Your child is #1, but don't consider letting yourself get stomped on a little more to try and maintain a mother-father relationship that does not even exist. I would seriously approach this with the mindset of getting full custody of the child and not considering visitations until substantial improvement has been made in your wife's "lifestyle".
I'm sorry if I come across as really harsh on this, but I'm an extremely firm believer that her cheating will never stop, at least in your relationship. Despite the pain and emotion, I don't believe for a minute in letting anyone affect me in this kind of way. I hope you find the strength to do the same.
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