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another option (I've used this one, and my SO likes it). if you're in the standard missionary position, you can continue even after he's cum by rocking yourself up against his pubic bone. If I haven't cum by the time he has, I'll do this to stimulate myself. He says he really likes the feeling of me rubbing all over him, even though he's already softening. I've never told him why I do it, but just let him think I do because I know he likes it. If you moved once or twice, and then said something like, "Do you like this, baby?" it would avoid the whole issue (provided he responds with a 'yes.') Although, I agree you should communicate with him, if there just doesn't seem to be a way to avoid hurting him, this might help you out.
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