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Tophat is evil because he promotes the combustion of human carbon molecules (refer to his signature).
Furthermore, Tophat wears spandex sweatpants to church and nothing else. Tophat is also known to have forcefully fed marshmallows to pigeons at his local zoo when no one was watching.
It is also purported that Tophad was sighted at a local Walmart shoplifting school supplies in bulk quantities. When questioned as to his motives, he simply cited an obscure passage from the Koran and ran off screaming the names of Greek gods.
In his latest caprice, Tophat was spotted selling hotpants in the playground of an elementry school. Tophat insists that he was being mind-controlled by demons and sincerely apologized to the staff and students after the fact, but suddenly burst into a full run and tripped over several desks, ruining at least two kids' art projects. He has not been seen or heard from since.
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The most important thing in this world is love.
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