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kinda funny you mentioned your dog not wanting to go upstairs. does your dog bark at the room or anything?
i had issues in a house i lived at and i swear my dog was sensitive to it. sometimes he'd stand at the foot of the stairs, all his hair on end and barking and growling like crazy. he was not a barker and up until we moved into that house i could have counted on one hand how many times i'd heard him growl over the years. sometimes it matched up with other weird happenings, sometimes not. but i'm convinced he saw or felt something there even when we didn't. once we moved, his barking and growling habits returned to normal.
i also suggest a video camera, or at least an audio recorder. if you can't do that, have some friends stay over. at least if they hear it too you and your wife won't start wondering if you are nuts!
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