I found something interesting in my research also that I would like to share. It is the "Paradox of Democratic Secession" Seems logical to me.
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democracy contra secession
Democracy relies on a prohibition of secession. A democratic regime assumes a 'demos' - a unit of political decision-making which is constant between decisions. If every dissident minority secedes after every opposed decision, then there is no democratic regime. (There would be no political regime at all - at least not for standard political theory).
So democrats have concluded, like President Lincoln in the 1860's, that secession must be suppressed. Since modern democracies are nation states, secession is now treated as an issue of national unity, and national identity: Lincoln was one of the last politicians who had to address secession as a classic political issue.
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There lies another difference between the American Revolution and the American Civil War.
The revolution was an act of creating a democracy as the colonies had no power of democracy to begin with.
The Confederate States were performing an action that was antithetical to democracy.
Then there is this one:
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Despite the rhetoric of liberal democracy, actual consent is not necessary to political legitimacy...Separatists cannot base their arguments on a right to opt out because no such right exists in democratic theory.
Government by the consent of the governed does not necessarily encompass a right to opt out. It only requires that within the existing political unit a right to participate through electoral processes be available. Moreover participatory rights do not entail a right to secede.
Lea Brilmayer (1991) Secession and self-determination: a territorial interpretation. Yale Journal of International Law 16, 177-202, p.184-185.
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In essence it is: "We let you be part of this democracy, therefore we are permitted to keep you in it.
The situation the southern states were in was like in a court case were someone writes up a personal contract with someone that if he fails in the goal he has to forefeit his firstborn to the other half of the contract.
The Judge will say, though the contract states it, you have no legal right to do this.
The same goes to secession from a democracy. You can state it in a contract that you hold the right to seceede, but the definition of democracy prohibits it.