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Originally Posted by *Nikki*
I would like to know if I am being overly sensitive or if anyone else agrees with my take on this situation.
I am having a bridal shower in March. My fiance's sister lives about ten hours away from where I do. I told her a couple weeks ago that I was having the shower in March and I would really like her to come. After all she is soon going to be my sister-in-law. She told me that she could come about any weekend in March and that sounded good to her.
Well I am now told that instead of coming to my shower she is going to visit her brother (my fiance) for four days that weekend of the shower. She has said that she wants to spend some time with him as a "Bachelor" before he and I are married.
So now I am really hurt and mad and I don't know how to address this issue and need some suggestions.
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Okay . .. there are a couple different issues going on here . . . and you have to realize that this isn't about your bridal shower . . . What seems to be bothering you is that you don't feel that she is upholding her part of your friendship by not being supportive, right? Tell her how you feel . . . be honest with her, but try not to be angry . . . tell her how you felt hurt and that she doesn't seem to be being supportive of you and tell her How much it would mean to you for her to be at your shower and partake in the social festivities.
On a different note: Ask yourself WHY? does she want to spend time with just her brother . . . Have you considered the fact that she might be Upset about her brother getting married . . . aka he won't have much time for her, he won't need a sister in his life when he has a wife etc, etc. You see? She might be feeling insecure about where her place is going to be in his life once he is married to you and has a wife etc. Does that make sense? I had this happen to me with my sister-in-law and were finally able to work it out . . . that she would still have a place in my hubby's life and it didn't mean that their sibling relationship was going to end or that i would be in effect replacing her love etc. People are very complex and often do things not out of spite or to be mean . . . but because they feel insecure.
at any rate . . . i would speak to her frankly and tell her how you feel . . . just get it out in the open, speak your mind and let her speak her mind . . . You are going to have to see her at family functions etc. and it's important to develop a healthy and honest repoire . . . so try if you can/want too to speak to her . . .
anyway, i know family is annoying, esp. in-laws family and can drive ya crazy
Good luck Nikki!!
Also congratulations on your impending marriage . . . that rocks that you're gettin' married!
