Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Looking for Happiness in all the wrong places.

Coll Storm · 01-04-2005, 08:17 PM

I'm reading a book that has had a profound effect on me. I think that it actually may set me in a totally different direction in my life, that I didn't expect.

It has a saying in it about not relying on other people for your happiness, but let's face it... we all tend to do that.

I've looked to so many people and have helped so many people in my life, that I have ignored probably the most important person in my life, that person being me.

Over the summer I found out that my hair was thinning. Instead of living with the thinning hair and worrying about it, I shaved my head and embraced the fact that I was going to eventually be bald.

People got used to me being bald, because I shaved it off every week. Two weeks ago I decided to let it grow in again and some of my friends started commenting on the fact that I should let it grow in.

I then shaved it off again and my good friend/boss told me that I looked terrible with a bald head and that I should grow it back. She continued to harp on it for the next two hours. I told her that "It's my hair and other people's opinions didn't matter to me about it", but then she said that "if that's true, then you wouldn't have shaved your head to begin with".

I saw her point, but she couldn't see mine clearly. It didn't matter what other people thought and that's why my head was shaved. It wasn't the fact that I was uncomfortable going bald, but more comfortable with my head totally shaved.

She then told me "that you look terrible ( yes, again ) and other people thought so". Other people being the parents of the children we care for. I told her "that I haven't heard anyone say anything and that if they have a problem with it, they should come to me". She then got several of the children to comment on how "terrible I looked".

I then tell one of my co-workers about my conversation with her and how she mentioned the parents being upset with my baldness. My co-worker just laughed, because of how stupid that sounded.

I'm 35 years old and I'm just starting to figure out that I have done everything in the past to please other people, but not myself. If you don't like my bald head, then don't look at it.

Sorry, if this sounds like a rant, but I needed to find an outlet to express it and this is my way how. I'm even thinking of changing my profession, because I'm not really happy anymore with teaching, because of the lack of respect and pay that goes with it. I really have a passion to help out the children too, but I'm sick of being shitted on daily.

Here's to the future and the only opinion that matters at the end of the day... my own.

01-04-2005, 08:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
Coll Storm Crazy Location: Boston	Looking for Happiness in all the wrong places. I'm reading a book that has had a profound effect on me. I think that it actually may set me in a totally different direction in my life, that I didn't expect. It has a saying in it about not relying on other people for your happiness, but let's face it... we all tend to do that. I've looked to so many people and have helped so many people in my life, that I have ignored probably the most important person in my life, that person being me. Over the summer I found out that my hair was thinning. Instead of living with the thinning hair and worrying about it, I shaved my head and embraced the fact that I was going to eventually be bald. People got used to me being bald, because I shaved it off every week. Two weeks ago I decided to let it grow in again and some of my friends started commenting on the fact that I should let it grow in. I then shaved it off again and my good friend/boss told me that I looked terrible with a bald head and that I should grow it back. She continued to harp on it for the next two hours. I told her that "It's my hair and other people's opinions didn't matter to me about it", but then she said that "if that's true, then you wouldn't have shaved your head to begin with". I saw her point, but she couldn't see mine clearly. It didn't matter what other people thought and that's why my head was shaved. It wasn't the fact that I was uncomfortable going bald, but more comfortable with my head totally shaved. She then told me "that you look terrible ( yes, again ) and other people thought so". Other people being the parents of the children we care for. I told her "that I haven't heard anyone say anything and that if they have a problem with it, they should come to me". She then got several of the children to comment on how "terrible I looked". I then tell one of my co-workers about my conversation with her and how she mentioned the parents being upset with my baldness. My co-worker just laughed, because of how stupid that sounded. I'm 35 years old and I'm just starting to figure out that I have done everything in the past to please other people, but not myself. If you don't like my bald head, then don't look at it. Sorry, if this sounds like a rant, but I needed to find an outlet to express it and this is my way how. I'm even thinking of changing my profession, because I'm not really happy anymore with teaching, because of the lack of respect and pay that goes with it. I really have a passion to help out the children too, but I'm sick of being shitted on daily. Here's to the future and the only opinion that matters at the end of the day... my own.