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great post!
my only addition would be to throw in some communication about going down in general. if she's not into oral (some girls just aren't) and you really want her to be--spend some time kissing the thighs and mound but not using your tongue. it may take a few times, but getting her used to the idea of you being down there may be enough for her to let you go further.
when i talk about this topic with partners, i like to mention frozen treats...if i'm feeling sensitive, i want him to treat it like soft-serve ice cream--soft licks only...be gentle! if i can take a lot, it's more like a popsicle--lick it, suck it, nibble on it...be rough, i can take it. if i'm somewhere in the middle, i want him to think of it like hand-dipped ice cream--soft licks, hard licks, gentle sucks...not too gentle, not too rough. it gives him a starting point and i don't have to worry about having the mood spoiled because i want it rough and he's trying to be soft and gentle (or vice versa).
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