warrrreagl

My wife is the most thoughtful, considerate, cheery gift-giver I've ever met. If she knew you, Hal, she would have loaded you up with all the stuff you'd want. And she'd be able to assess that from you in one meeting alone; it's uncanny how she does it. Unfortunately, her remaining family (two brothers and assorted in-laws, nephews, and nieces) are absolute total SHITS when it comes to reciprocating.

Here are some examples from this year:
1) My wife's brother (47 years old) is a gun fanatic: she gave him a new pistol carrying case.
My wife has Type I diabetes: the same brother gave her a S'Mores Maker Kit (last year he gave her a Hot Chocolate Set). We don't know if he's really that stupid or if he's trying to kill her.

2) My wife's other brother (45 years old) is an Auburn fanatic: she gave him a hard-to-find Auburn video that was not easy to corral.
My wife hates gory television and movies: the same brother gave her a jigsaw puzzle based on the CSI tv show. She hates the show and never watches it.

3) My wife's sister-in-law is the worst, most hateful carbon-based life form on the planet: my wife gave her a very nice watch that wasn't cheap by any means.
My wife and I live in Auburn and are surrounded by cheap Auburn souvenirs everywhere we go: the sister-in-law gave her a piece of crap Auburn wind chime. The sister-in-law does all the Christmas shopping for her family, and she always buys all male relatives the same "male" gift, and all female relatives a different "female" gift. Her shopping day is over in about 14 seconds.

4) My wife's niece and nephew are the two most selfish teenage morons I've ever had the displeasure to know: she gave them a requested video game (nephew) and matching watch (niece).
My wife does not cook, as that's my pleasure: the niece and nephew gave her a wire whisk for the kitchen. Me, they gave nothing.

We go through this every year, and it really hurts my wife badly. She loves Christmas and loves her family and cannot help herself from going all out in the true spirit of giving. And then they shit all over her. One year I wrote down everything they gave her and everything she gave them and saved it until the next year's shopping season so I could use it to remind her of what always happens. All it did was make her miserable a month early.

Just once, I'd like to see her family put the slightest bit of thought in their gifts and make her happy.

By the way, she gave me a whole bunch of Beatles stuff that I didn't have, and most of you know how high I must be floating today. I gave her a watercolor media set, an easel, and some sketching materials; I figured anybody that beautiful on the inside should bring it all out for everyone to enjoy.

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