So this is NOT meant to be taken seriously..
Quote:
Attention now u know we hate to tease
so please, take the keys to open your mind and find a way to make
the human kind more better
look within yourself, and go against the killas
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That seems like it's supposed to be taken seriously..why shouldn't it?
Just a few questions...Why are you writing rap lyrics if you don't like rap AT ALL? I realise it's not to be taken seriously but the lyrics almost always are when you talk about violence even if you make it blatantly clear of sarcasm...if this is indeed sarcasm. Ya gotta keep that in mind. People are gonna get offended by it if you take it as a joke and it gives good positive rap a bad name. Stuff like that turns people off to rap music. Was this written as a mockery of rap music? I mean if you don't like it one has to assume. Well regardless eh...I'm not gonna say I HATE it but it definitely needs some work if ya get me. Expected though cause I'm sure this is something new yer tryin out so of course it won't be brilliant. Ya gotta watch the writing so the overall message doesn't get lost behind a lot of imagery of this kid in the song thats obviously wronging everyone and you're trying to dissuade him from that but since you make no real refference or clear distinction between you and the character of the rhyme it's easy to confuse him with yourselves and make it sound like you're the ones who are killing a cop and then telling someone not to do it. It can confuse people who don't normally listen to rap. The lyrics seem like the flow of the song is shaky...if you wanna get people to listen to it the flow has to be consistent and spot on with the beat otherwise it will sound like a big mess. Most emcees ignore that rule to push out albums quicker. Don't be one of them. Don't make your verses choppy...sit down write, say it aloud to yourself, spit it over the beat, if you struggle at a spot don't go out of your way to try and make it fit...re-word the line until it becomes effortless. You'll be really proud of the finished product if you do. I'll let you know more but I don't have much time.
Asta!!