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Fearless_Hyena · 12-14-2004, 01:51 PM

I have a pretty funny NON-firing story:

My last job was a sweatshop that underpaid me and was full of incompetent jerks who were constantly trying to stab each other in the back to get ahead. Notice any animosity here?

In any case, I was good at my job and I never dropped the ball on anything. But I was miserable, and after 3 years of running the show, without any decent raise, I decided it was time to move on. But there were no other decent Network Engineering/Telecom opportunities left in my area (I looked), and I couldn't just quit without finding another job.

So I TRIED to get fired from this job.

Sounds stupid, right? Sure it was, but my state of mind at that point (like most of the workers there, then and now) was pretty non-linear. But I figured if I got fired and was forced to move on, that's somehow better than quitting if nothing else was available.

I continued to do my job, and did it well. There weren't many others around with the knowledge or skill required to do my particular job, and I found that I had to do a lot of tasks myself to make sure they got done right and on-time.

Yes, I tried to get fired. I was never straight up rude to anyone, but for example if I had any knowledge or strong opinions about something I would speak my mind in a matter of fact way. I was known for saying WTF constantly, not a day went by without its repeated use. It was more humorous than anything but I'm sure a lot of people thought I was an asshole when I told them directly (but in not so many words) that they were full of shit and their program, design, plans or whatever simply wouldn't work.

I would roll in at about 10:30 or 11am, go to my office and shut the door. Then I'd look at my watch and think hmm, it's almost time for lunch! I'd mosey down to the cafeteria for at least 90 minutes, come back to my office, do my remaining work for the day, and then at like 2:45 it was back to the cafeteria for some ice cream and TV watching. After I got bored with the TV, back to the office to finish up some emails, then hurry home so I could be at the bar for Happy Hour beating on the door if it didn't open at 4pm sharp. Arrive late, leave early, repeat 4x more a week, profit! But I never dropped the ball on anything and always got my work done right the first time (unlike most of my jackass coworkers).

After several months of this, (which was almost exactly a year ago, in fact), I got my first merit bonus ever! At this company, nobody ever EVER got bonuses except for extreme situations, and I was the only one in my group who got one. However the company had just been bought out at the time, so the fact that they had a bit of money to throw around meant that more people got bonuses around that time than ever before.

Now I don't know whether my manager ever knew about this, but frankly I don't think he cared since I always got the job done. We had a large campus of several buildings, and my manager sat as far away as you could get from me, say maybe a 5-10 minute walk at least. So I never got fired. And I got my first bonus ever. This could have been straight out of Office Space, I couldn't believe it!!

About 4 months later I found a much better opportunity and put in my 2 weeks notice one Friday. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I love my new job and no, I don't screw around like that any more. Damn were those some depressing times though, I feel bad for the poor guys still working at that awful place. In fact they just merged and formed an LLC and they're doing a lot of firings over there right now, I wonder how that's going.

By the way these firing stories are great, keep 'em coming!!

12-14-2004, 01:51 PM	#37 (permalink)
Fearless_Hyena Hello, good evening, and bollocks. Location: near DC	I have a pretty funny NON-firing story: My last job was a sweatshop that underpaid me and was full of incompetent jerks who were constantly trying to stab each other in the back to get ahead. Notice any animosity here? In any case, I was good at my job and I never dropped the ball on anything. But I was miserable, and after 3 years of running the show, without any decent raise, I decided it was time to move on. But there were no other decent Network Engineering/Telecom opportunities left in my area (I looked), and I couldn't just quit without finding another job. So I TRIED to get fired from this job. Sounds stupid, right? Sure it was, but my state of mind at that point (like most of the workers there, then and now) was pretty non-linear. But I figured if I got fired and was forced to move on, that's somehow better than quitting if nothing else was available. I continued to do my job, and did it well. There weren't many others around with the knowledge or skill required to do my particular job, and I found that I had to do a lot of tasks myself to make sure they got done right and on-time. Yes, I tried to get fired. I was never straight up rude to anyone, but for example if I had any knowledge or strong opinions about something I would speak my mind in a matter of fact way. I was known for saying WTF constantly, not a day went by without its repeated use. It was more humorous than anything but I'm sure a lot of people thought I was an asshole when I told them directly (but in not so many words) that they were full of shit and their program, design, plans or whatever simply wouldn't work. I would roll in at about 10:30 or 11am, go to my office and shut the door. Then I'd look at my watch and think hmm, it's almost time for lunch! I'd mosey down to the cafeteria for at least 90 minutes, come back to my office, do my remaining work for the day, and then at like 2:45 it was back to the cafeteria for some ice cream and TV watching. After I got bored with the TV, back to the office to finish up some emails, then hurry home so I could be at the bar for Happy Hour beating on the door if it didn't open at 4pm sharp. Arrive late, leave early, repeat 4x more a week, profit! But I never dropped the ball on anything and always got my work done right the first time (unlike most of my jackass coworkers). After several months of this, (which was almost exactly a year ago, in fact), I got my first merit bonus ever! At this company, nobody ever EVER got bonuses except for extreme situations, and I was the only one in my group who got one. However the company had just been bought out at the time, so the fact that they had a bit of money to throw around meant that more people got bonuses around that time than ever before. Now I don't know whether my manager ever knew about this, but frankly I don't think he cared since I always got the job done. We had a large campus of several buildings, and my manager sat as far away as you could get from me, say maybe a 5-10 minute walk at least. So I never got fired. And I got my first bonus ever. This could have been straight out of Office Space, I couldn't believe it!! About 4 months later I found a much better opportunity and put in my 2 weeks notice one Friday. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I love my new job and no, I don't screw around like that any more. Damn were those some depressing times though, I feel bad for the poor guys still working at that awful place. In fact they just merged and formed an LLC and they're doing a lot of firings over there right now, I wonder how that's going. By the way these firing stories are great, keep 'em coming!! Last edited by Fearless_Hyena; 12-14-2004 at 01:53 PM..