To add to Wilbjammin, I have been approached both by other Filipinos because I am Filipino and Americans because I am Filipino... Both are unappealing and a bit alienating, or just weird. For me, I don't ultimately relate to someone just by ethnicity. I may think it's neat that someone is Filipino and may get excited because there's not a lot of us in Oregon, but there has to be other things there for me to really latch on to some sense of familiarity (interests, personality, etc.)
A couple weeks ago, I was approached by someone on the metro who asked what my nationality was and then said he lived in the Philippines for 6 months in the military. My guess is that he noticed I was asian, and probably Filipino, and decided to sit by me (I thought it was weird when he sat by me and remember being uncomfortable because there were lots of empty seats at the time). He mentioned he ate with his hands there, and made some weird comment about how he didn't end up getting married (was he looking?). I know he was probably trying to relate with me, but it was very awkward and alienating.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Kurant
His family is also not happy with the arrangement, and I truly believe it's because she's white. It also seems to me asians like to keep it within the culture. I'm not sure though, but all his brothers are married to other asian women.
|
This is not necessarily true. Typically, when I think of asians that like to keep within the culture, I think of Chinese tradition. Or again, places in the US (California, New Jersey, etc)with a big enough asian subculture for there to be groups of asians and therefore, opportunities to date other asians. But, there is a big underground market for mail order brides, or the slightly more neutral "pen-pal" service (which is basically the same thing, at least, with intentions). Often, family members and friends are *happy* when a female finds an American male so that they can fly to the States. Often, friends joke to the new bride about finding them "pen-pals" so they can move there too.
When I visited the Philippines, ALL of the young people (both males and females) my age or older that I met there asked me for pen-pals. I think this has something to do with the state of the economy/government/poor conditions etc. that make it an undesirable place for them to live. But it also may have to do with thinking the States/Americans are superior. I thought it was really odd that we have all these tanning lotions, tanning salons, etc. Emphasis on darker skin/exoticism being beautiful. In the Philippines, they had commercials for making the skin *whiter*. Emphasis on Western aesthetic...
It also has a lot to do with the Philippines and the military base, like my story about the man who lived there for 6 months. Many Filipinas DID whore themselves and knew that they could use their sexuality as a means to get more money, just to get by. This is directly related to mail order brides because it's this concept of objectification and "buying" a female that made the business so popular. Both people, in a sense, are using eachother. The man, of course, is looking for a wife and wants to have someone to take care of the house, etc. The woman just wants a better life in another country and is aware that she may be sacrificing a lot of things, though willing to take the consequences. There's a lot of ethical issues here and it's not something I'm particularly proud of (when I worked for fast food my peers asked if I was into prostituting or some crass remark because they knew I was Filipino. It's sad that this is what my country is known for)... but these women do know what they're doing and have voluntarily put themselves out there.