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Originally Posted by jorgelito
wilbjammin,
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You are using stereotypes and demographics to "sandbag" the idea that a white man could have a meaningful relationship with an Asian woman. There are bad interracial relationships, and good interracial relationships. The way to judge relationships is to look at how they function.
That is exactly my point. It is the classic, "shoe on the other foot" example. I am assuming, that the content of the first page of threads made Asians feel the same way. Sandbagged. Both of you indicated negative stereotypes and sandbagged Asian males as your reason for not dating Asians etc. But in my example, you definitely understand why it's offensive or whatever or incorrect.
Do you guys see what I mean now sort of?
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Well, I spent a good deal of energy trying to discuss A) how much of an issue it really is, and B) what are the reasons for it?
Obviously there are cultural reasons driven by the media, as you discuss earlier. I understand that its a problem, however, I just disagree with your framing of the issue. You're claiming that it is all about sex, and while that may be true in many cases, there are also many relationships that persist and exist beyond merely a sexual aesthetic level.
The negative stereotypes are there, and there are reasons for them. I don't think that the emasculation of the Asian man is as big of a contributing factor as the objectification of women by Asian men and the subserviant expectations that are upheld. Those traditionalist values are being challenged and have been challenged with the introduction of Western culture via media and the expansion of the global market. Again, I must reiterate what I've said before, which is that culture does vary significantly between different parts of Asia, so to discuss this issue you'd need to look at the home country of those involved, where the interactions are taking place (Oregon is much different than Alabama, and definitely much different than Manilla, Cebu City, or Tokyo).
I think that alienation and a desire for independence are key factors for many Asian women when considering to stay within their culture. Whether or not being faced with traditionalists, there is going to be an expectation that being approached by someone <i>only</i> because they're of the same ethnicity as you are that they're looking for some sense of familiarity and to continue within social norms of that culture. After being removed from that culture in some way and then finding that there are aspects of that culture that you don't want to be part of, being approached because of your ethnicity is going to be unappealing. Just like it is unappealing to be approaching by someone of another ethnicity just because you're exotic...