It's b/s. Everybody hates them on the grounds of the hype. I found their "Modern Age" demo in the $1 dollar bin about a month or two before the album hit and I was hooked from that. WAAAAHHHH! I want my bands to be underrated and obscrure, the kind that you have to work in an indie record store to have even heard about because they released one goddamn EP in the summer of 1982 on 8 track and you and your best friend have the only two copies, as well as the only remaining operational 8-track player in your beat up, brown early 90's Cadillac that you have so wittily covered in stickers from local dives where the bands that the next generation of scenester pieces of shit will play for 50 dollars a gig so that they record an EP on CD that some asshole 20 years from now that looks, acts, and dresses just like you can work in an indie record store, hear about the band from the drummer's kid when he comes in to pick up Korn's Greatest Hits: Volume 18, spend 3 days looking for it until he finds it under his couch, and then gloats for years about how he rediscovered the shit. WAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I like music that is so technically complicated that I can barely listen to it without getting a fucking migraine. Nevermind if it doesn't sound good at all. It's complicated and dark and gives me an excuse to wear black clothes and black makeup and hate my parents and make fun of Hot Topic even though your clothes are still made by the SAME FUCKING POLYNESIAN CHILDREN. Never mind that I'm full of shit, because I'm too dark and brooding to hang out with people who realize that conforming to certain social norms is healthy and may actually make you not just a more approachable and successful person, but also a person that is less likely to die of drug overdose, AIDS, infected piercing, infected tatoo, infected ruptured spleen that you didn't know you had because you're too busy getting drunk every night and trashing about in a circle to get your pent up sexual frustration and self loathing out in the most deevolved and violent manner possible. WAAAAAHHHHHH! They're on the radio. I don't listen to the radio. I only listen to the music that I steal online from the unsigned and unknown artists, THE ONE"S THAT CAN AFFORD IT THE LEAST. Not that it matters. They're usually unknown or unsigned for a reason and that reason is that they suck. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! They only have one genre. I want my music to fuse as many genres as possible in a futile attempt to create something new through forced breeding of musical genres due to a hopeless postmodernist outlook at everything creative, resulting in the auditory equivalent of being brutally sodomized by a broken broom handle while hot wax and rusty nails are shoved into every orifice. Everything has already been done before, even what I'm saying right now. JESUS! How about this: try combining the musical stylings of a bucket of bleach and ammonia inside of an oversized plastic trash bag with the complex soundscape of you inside of that trash bag? Yeah! It'll be awesome. Your little posse of thrift store clad neo-Bohemians will be so proud. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I only listen to rap/hiphop/rnb/gangsta and in doing so achieve the modern day equivalent of black face by taking another culture and raping it in ways that even the most perverted Japanese porn director cringe and tear holes in his own skin. Yo YO Yo Nahmsayin. I refuse to respect my own culture cuz i be a mad azz gangsta mutha fuka dat be slappin dem hoes, makin dat chedda, and pimpin dat mike like it's my bitch, despite the fact that I drive my dad's Ford Pinto, am 25 and still living in my parent's basement, am dating a high schooler, and the last time I tried to even talk to a black person, my appearance and demeanor were so offensive that they spat on me. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I only listen to techno. Machines don't mess up like humans do. Machines don't start wars. Machines don't need strings. Machines don't need to breath. Machines are the way of the future. One day, People will be Cyborgs. Won't that be cool? Just like in anime! Hey, techno fruit: You want a cyborg? Go fuck a blender. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I only listen to Christian/Atheist/Agnostic/Hindu/Jewish/Islamic/New Church of Silver Mount Zion in the name of the Great Jesus Vacuum Cleaner. Why? I'll tell you at great length with little substance, regurgitated mantras, and other people's ideas. I get off on religious fervor and unleash my repressed desires in a blinding jesus based rage on the non believers. Death to those who deny the Sacred Wood Beast! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! For any one I forgot; Fuck you.
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STEVE MCKENNA!
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