Sion

All Hail the Mighty Whore

Some people hate whores. I am not some people. I love whores. I love 'em in theory and I love 'em in fact. I love 'em in fantasy and also in reality. I love 'em blonde, brunette or redhead. I love 'em tall and willowy, short and curvy or built like a brick shithouse. Or any shape in between.

I love 'em, I love 'em, I LOVE 'EM!

Without whores, there would be no porn, hardcore or soft. There would be no beaver shots on a windy day at the bus stop, or peeks down low-cut blouses. Without whores, there'd be no wet T-shirt contests, no titty/strip bars and no cheerleaders. There would be no Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, no brothels and no blowjobs in the back seat at the drive-in. In a world without whores, there would never have been the “did I just see bush” scene in Basic Instinct, nor flying dress picture of Marilyn Monroe, and no Russ Meyer movies. Try to imagine a world without pinup calendars on the back wall of Dad’s garage, without Playboy, Penthouse or Hustler magazines, without Pamela Anderson, Madonna, Britney Spears, Mae West, or Farah Fawcett. Depressing, ain’t it?

There would be no sexual fantasy in a world without whores. Let's face facts, men do NOT imagine saintly virgins when they drift into the realm of make-believe sex. Without whores, we’d have to fantasize about our wives/girlfriends. And believe me when I tell you, if THAT were the case, there’d be a LOT less fucking going on. And speaking of fucking, in a world without whores, there would also be less in the way of good sex. Where but from whores do men learn how to be decent lovers? From virgins? I think NOT! And if whores didn’t spend their time pandering to the basest instincts of men, what would they do with themselves? Devote their time to making men miserable, most likely. I shudder to think of it.

Whores bring great pleasure to poor average schlubs like me the world over by their very existence, and at great personal risk and sacrifice. Whores give every man a chance at getting laid, regardless of how ugly, nerdy or repugnant. (Alcohol helps too. But that is a topic for another essay. I should mention, however, that whores and alcohol are one of my favorite combinations, EVER.) And as if this service to 49% of the population wasn’t enough, these plucky ladies also bring joy to their fellow women (those of the non-whore variety). Yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen, make no mistake about it, the unwhorish of the world too, do benefit from the multitudes of hardons created by visions whoredom. Plus, they give the rest of you women someone to look down on.

And finally, whores help the economy. Like gambling and drugs/alcohol, the industries that exist because of whores (porn, prostitution, men’s magazines, TV/movies, etc) are essentially recessions/depression proof. Thus, whores help keep the money flowing even when times are tough. And imagine if all the whores the world over suddenly ceased their whorish ways? What then would they do for a living? Certainly the welfare ranks would swell a thousand-fold. Taxes would have to skyrocket to 90% or better to keep pace. And even Democrats wouldn’t want to see that.

To borrow a phrase from the U.S. Marines:

I'm looking for a few good whores.

Know any?





-sion

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...