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Reminds me of a conversation after leaving a party..
Friend: "How come you never talk to anybody?"
Me: "Dunno, there wasn't really anybody worth talking to. They all seemed pretty dumb and uninteresting."
Friend: "Yeah you say that, but actually you would like to talk to them, except you have a lack of confidence in social situations so you get nervous and clam up."
Me: ".....yep."
It's really a combination of the two.
I hate making small talk. Yeah Sherlock you're right, it HAS been raining a lot lately. I don't follow sports, but hey, it's cool that your team won, way to go. Yes, it sucks that those ex-Pantera guys got shot. blah blah blah blah fucking blah...
Since I don't really want to socialize or know how to deal with that kind of stuff, it makes me less confident in those situations, so I tend to avoid them. Interacting with other people who I don't know well is a very draining experience for me, after a few minutes I just want to get out of there and spend some time alone.
I have gotten somewhat better from being forced to interact with people in my job, and from friends who would drag me out of the house periodically. Also, I know people who have almost no friends, and put off going to the supermarket or even having pizza delivered because that means dealing with other people. That inspires me to be somewhat more outgoing since being *that* sheltered would be pretty depressing.
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