There's a difference between obsessive ("perseverative") thoughts that you keep running through your head, and obsessive behavior. If you really can't control the behavior, if it is a true compulsion (hence the name obsessive-compulsive disorder) then you probably have OCD - get thee to a doctor for therapy and meds. If it's just that you do stupid things around relationships, it's likely that you've established some kind of psychological pattern that you continue to act on despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that you know it's going to backfire. Are you deliberately shooting yourself in the foot for some reason?
Sounds like you're just impatient and perhaps a little bit controlling.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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