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I have a sense this thread is going to rapidly descend into a battle of "I'm smarter than you"s, but here's my offering:
You can't define music objectively b/c I think the definition relies on the intent of the musician and is therefore circular. If you are rhythmically banging a metal thing against another metal thing, is it automatically music? What if you are just building a house?
I think "music" is the sound (or lack thereof - see John Cage) made when someone tries to make music. Yes it is circular, but c'est la vie.
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A little silliness now and then is cherished by the wisest men. -- Willy Wonka
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