Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Is my ex-gf a b*tch, or is this normal?

neoinoakleys · 05-13-2003, 09:30 AM

ok, I read through your problem and I have been in this situation before. I had asked a girl to move in with me and to a town that she knew noone in...etc, etc....same story as yours, only no kids involved.

Here is what I will tell you. First things first. You can NOT blame yourself for making her move here. This may have been encouraged by you, but it certainly was not your decision. She made the decision to take a chance and move. This was her decision NOT yours. Stop beating yourself up about it.

Next, it was also her decision to start looking outside of the relationship and blow you off to spend time with "work friends." Now you know the truth about her attraction to the other guy. As bad as it sounds, you need to cut her off. especially financially. These are consequences she should have thought of, before galavanting off to bars with some dude she finds attractive.

Look at it this way. You have been the nice guy. You have looked out for her well being, looked after her son, and turned your own life upside down, but this a 2 way street. You are allowing her to walk all over you.

By allowing her to walk all over you, you are creating a situation where she is not only allowed to spend time with other guys, but she now has a sucker to help her pick up the tab for it. Let this other guy help her. Again, this is a decision SHE made. This is no longer your problem.

Trust me, by you strapping on some balls and putting an end to the nonesense, she will realize what she has lost and force her to take responsibility for her actions....

You have no obligation to her... You have already made the first realization that you don't want a woman like that in your life, now stick to it.

You can only show a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink...You have done everything, the appreciation is not reciprical, and you need to cut her loose. Give her a deadline, and send her packing....END OF STORY...

DO NOT...I repeat, DO NOT...help her financially anymore. I don't care how much she pleads...DON'T be the sucker!!

My $0.02

Good luck, man...I feel your pain...

05-13-2003, 09:30 AM	#27 (permalink)
neoinoakleys Psycho Location: Michigan	ok, I read through your problem and I have been in this situation before. I had asked a girl to move in with me and to a town that she knew noone in...etc, etc....same story as yours, only no kids involved. Here is what I will tell you. First things first. You can NOT blame yourself for making her move here. This may have been encouraged by you, but it certainly was not your decision. She made the decision to take a chance and move. This was her decision NOT yours. Stop beating yourself up about it. Next, it was also her decision to start looking outside of the relationship and blow you off to spend time with "work friends." Now you know the truth about her attraction to the other guy. As bad as it sounds, you need to cut her off. especially financially. These are consequences she should have thought of, before galavanting off to bars with some dude she finds attractive. Look at it this way. You have been the nice guy. You have looked out for her well being, looked after her son, and turned your own life upside down, but this a 2 way street. You are allowing her to walk all over you. By allowing her to walk all over you, you are creating a situation where she is not only allowed to spend time with other guys, but she now has a sucker to help her pick up the tab for it. Let this other guy help her. Again, this is a decision SHE made. This is no longer your problem. Trust me, by you strapping on some balls and putting an end to the nonesense, she will realize what she has lost and force her to take responsibility for her actions.... You have no obligation to her... You have already made the first realization that you don't want a woman like that in your life, now stick to it. You can only show a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink...You have done everything, the appreciation is not reciprical, and you need to cut her loose. Give her a deadline, and send her packing....END OF STORY... DO NOT...I repeat, DO NOT...help her financially anymore. I don't care how much she pleads...DON'T be the sucker!! My $0.02 Good luck, man...I feel your pain... __________________ It's My Duty to Please That Booty!!