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Ok, I'll take a stab at this.
From what you've told me, I don't think you should involve yourself in her lovelife unless she asks you to. You have already told her how you feel about her and she has made it clear that she is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you at this time.
Also, as for trying to force her out of her relationship by means of an offer to help, you will only hurt yourself (trust me on this one). I highly doubt that you understand the complete dynamics of their relationship and are thus in no position to give advice.
From what you've told us, it seems to me as though she has already placed you in the friend category, but you haven't given us enough info for me to decide whether there's any hope, but I'll play devil's advocate and assume that there is some hope. Your best course of action now would be to continue your friendship with her and just be a nice guy. Also, and this is very important, don't speak ill of her ex in front of her (it makes you look like an asshole). Just be nice and sit tight. There's really nothing else you can do. You've planted the seed, now see if it grows.
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