Mephisto2

Clavus is funny.

Mrs Mephisto and I both got struck by food poisoning once. We know where we got it too. A dodgy quiche at a rather up market hotel whilst driving home from a holiday in rural Ireland. No matter.

As you say Clavus, perhaps one of the worst things about it is the ass/head switcheroo, usually in rapid, too rapid, succession.

In fact, I distinctly remember one particular seizure when, sitting on the toilet and releasing what can only be called liquid (it felt like I was forcing my own warm blood out of my ass at high pressure), when I actually barfed between my legs... while I was still shitting.

Having your own bodily foods (precious, toxic, digestive or faecic) expelled from both ends of your body at the same time is one of the most frightful, revolting and downright curious feelings you'll ever have.

What's worse, after each visit to the bathroom, the other person was banging on the door shouting "Hurry up! Open the fucking door! It's MY turn... Quick, quick... Oh Sweet Jesus, open the door..."

A couple of cycles of this and there is no time left to clean the floor or flush the toilet before the next round. And by the time one person was finished (usually not even finished), the other was back at the door desperately seeking access, praying they wouldn't soil the bedroom carpet.

At one stage, Mrs Mephisto and I were in there together (thankfully long after our nether regions were flushed of all matter, solid, semi-solid and downright liquid), both leaning over the toilet bowl, heaving, puking, then dry heaving together. I remember looking over at her, moving a bit of puke plastered hair from her cheek, dabbing a dribble of sick from her face and saying "You know, if we don't married after this, then let's never speak of it again..."

We did, and occasionally for a laugh, we do.



No toilet cup for us though. Fuck man, that was funny. Absolutely cringe inducing, but funny.



Mr Mephisto