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Ahh! Tophat, my arch nemesis!
(see, you have to be evil to BE an arch nemesis)
Once again trying to pawn off your evil deeds on the inncoent masses, I see. Since you refuse to reveal yourself, I suppose I will have to.
Tophat wrote the manual for booby trapped bird feeders. Who do you think figured out that pop rocks were leathal? He's like the evil, anti-Darwin; out to destroy all the pretty finches and harmless songbirds.
And muppets? You want to talk about sick? Oh boy, Tophat has cornered the market on sick! As we speak, he's holding Bert AND Ernie hostage in his basement. He's making them dress up like gimps (ok, so they came over dressed like gimps, but he's keeping them in gimp costume!!) and clean his bathroom. And I can't even talk about the "naughty peigon" punishment! Let's just say that pop rocks + peigons + muppet butt = stuffing everywhere!
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Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.
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