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from your initial posts and your responses...i'm getting the impression you aren't really interested in having sex. maybe, for whatever reason, you simply aren't ready and your body isn't willing to cooperate because of that.
if sex feels degrading to you, i'd suggest figuring out why. that doesn't mean therapy, but maybe you need a serious commitment to sleep with a woman (seeing it as an act of love versus a nasty perversion of the flesh)? kissing and spooning are typically loving actions and if love triggers your sex drive, it makes sense you'd get an erection. while going down on a woman can be a very loving thing (and many would argue it is) it's not generally associated with love. i dunno, but i definitely get the vibe that staying a virgin a while longer might be in your better interests--and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
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