Rlyss

I like the way you put that, it's a good way of wording it

McFrosticles - you don't have to answer this to us, but have you had sex with a past girlfriend before? If you haven't had sex before then that might be a reason you're hesitant about this but if you take a look around the forums here you'll find a number of questions like this where people are worried about their partners (usually women) having more experience than them. And I think 90 per cent of the responses to those qestions say that past experience doesn't mean a loose woman... past experience more often means a strong woman, one who knows what she wants and doesn't want any silly teenage awkwardness - if this girl you're dating has had sex before then chances are she knows how to have good sex. If she's free of disease, what's bad about that? I'd say you've got everything to gain and nothing to lose with a woman who knows what she's doing. You don't have to worry about her fumbling around cluelessly.

So if you haven't had sex before then take it really slowly, just keep this dating fun and casual and see how it goes, and if you both decide to sleep with each other get tested for STDs (do NOT mention her past, just say it's something you would prefer to do and anybody who refuses to get tested is someone to keep well clear of).

The double standard of experienced men being normal, and experienced women being loose and dirty is often around but its up to individuals to go against that and see her for the person she is now. If she hasn't made a habit of cheating on her partners in the past then you don't have anything to worry about. If you think she's dirty for having sex before you then that's a fairly common feeling among some guys, but just because its common doesn't mean its ok to express because if you sit down and really think about it you'll find that she's not dirty, instead she's been commited to her past boyfriends. If you're her boyfriend now then it seems like what you've got to look forward to is:

- spending time with a woman who has similar interests
- spending time with her cool family
- having sex with a hot Asian chick who you can call your girlfriend

See mate, nothing to lose!

Take it easy from now on, take it slowly and have an awesome time and if the time comes to have sex with her, get tested and wear a condom, let the good times roll and be happy that you made the right decisions all along the way.

As for friends saying you could do better, that may or not be true, but mate, that's your call and you won't get a real answer until you get to know her. If she's really not a great person you'll find out soon enough and you'll be able to walk away then saying 'She wasn't the right person' instead of walking away now asking 'Could she have been the right person?'

As for drugs, most people have tried some. If you haven't then that's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be intimidated by. If she had one joint when she was sixteen and never did anything again, her non-user friends will spread the word that she's 'on drugs'. If she smoked a bit during high school just to see what it was like, or just for fun, then you can decide whether that conflicts with your morals but until you know if she had one joint at a party once, or if she used to have a heroin habit, it's really not something to worry about if she's quit that now.

Sorry for the great big long post, I had a bit to say and I know I always appreciate big responses