Strange Famous

ok, this is long and possibly a rant, so I apologise before I begin...

Earlier in the year my mum invited me to spend Christmas with her, and I accepted (my parents separated about 3 years ago, but they arent divorced and they still get on fairly well - but they both have new partners)

Then my dad, a few weeks ago, told me that my mum had asked him to tell me she didnt want me for Xmas, because she wanted to spend xmas together with her new girlfriend. I was a bit put out, more than anything cos she couldnt even tell me herself and got him to do it, so I was going to spend xmas alone (my dad normally goes away, and doesnt like xmas at all, and his girlf is Jewish too, and she doesnt celebrate it at all) - the problem my dad had though was he actually hasnt told my sister or my mum he is dating (but he knows about my mums girlf) - I dont even know why he wants to keep it secret, but neither of them officially know he is seeing someone (although I think they both kind of do) but they dont know the woman at all - I know her and have had dinner at their house a few times, and get on really well with her though. But he couldnt invite me and not invite my sister, and then he'd have to tell her, so... I was gonna spend Xmas alone, which was a bit depressing, but fair enough

Then my dad said he didnt want me and my sister to have nowhere to go, and we could spend it with him, and he would just have to tell my sister, and it would be fine. It sounded better than being on my own, so I accepted. Then last week my dad told me now that my mum's girlf cant decide if she actually wants to spend xmas with my mum or not (uts a whole nother thing, she asked my mum to move in with her, my mum said it was too early, so then she cancelled the xmas plans - or at least thats what I heard first hand) - and so she might want me and my sister for xmas after all...

But I just said, as far as I was concerned, she withdrew her invitation to me, and my dad invited me, so that was where I was going, and I wasnt going to hang around to be someone second choice of a guest.

So yesterday I spoke to my sister, and I asked her what she was doing for xmas, and she said she didnt know, but mum had told HER that she never uninvited either of us for xmas, she just asked dad to tell us both that she wanted to include her girlf in her xmas plans (which I have no problems with, I have known my mum was gay for a long time and its a non-issue to me) , and that she does want us for xmas, she never asked my dad to uninvite us.

So, basically - this might seem pretty childish - but one of them is basically lying, and I dont know who. Part of me wants to force the issue and find out who is telling the truth, and part of me says its just not worth it, and its best to let it lie.

But the other thing is, where do I go now for xmas? I accepted my mums invite, which she said she never cancelled, and I accepted my dad's invite, cos he told me my mum asked him to say she didnt want me there. I honestly dont know who is not telling the truth - my mum is very much like that in a relationship, when she is with someone they are just like EVERYONE, and she pushes everyone else away, doesnt have any time to see anyone else... I mean, i dont want to sound selfish or needy, and I am a grown man, but it does hurt my feelings a little bit how she doesnt even want to talk to me (like i ring up and she just answers one word and cant wait to get off teh phone is she is with her girlf), and then if they break up or fight, she suddenly expects me to drop what Im doing to see her and talk about it all... but I dont actually know who is telling the truth in this case - I would like to think neither of them would outright lie, but basically one of them has to be.

My gut feeling is just to say fuck it, Im not spending it with either of them and I'll just home on my own, and if it was just for myself honestly thats what I'd do, but it makes me feel really bad to think of either of them being sad because of me. I think that... then I like think of my mum being all alone on xmas... and I feel like shit. And then I think of my dad making plans for me and my sister to come, and then we dont, and him feeling really bad... and I feel like shit!

I have no idea what my sister is going to do, but when it comes to it she has always been closer to my mum, so if my mum wants her there she prolly will be (and it makes it easier for my dad cos he doesnt have to tell her about his girlf) - but then if my dad is telling the truth, and my mum's girlf changes her mind, my sister would be on her own or tagging along where she wasnt wanted...

I know, honestly, compared to the problems people have, this is pretty insignificant, and Im not tryiong to be a drama queen about it all... I just dont know what to do, and I dont know what I can do that isnt going to wind up hurting someone. For myself, I honestly dont even care where I spend xmas, I dont even like xmas, I just dont want to hurt my mum, or my dad... and I dont like being lied to either.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas