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What strikes me about this issue is the difference in attitude to her admissions of previous relationships.
Rich seems to have a lot more of a conservative outlook in life regarding sex. He's stated that he 'cheated' yet it was only kissing. Most of us here would say "so what". You see what level he associates the physical aspect of the relationship?
When you've got that attitude regarding sex and intimacy, and you've been cheated on by firstly a romantic trust and also a friend then you are going to feel very insecure about future relationships.
Having come from a quite puritanical background myself, I can relate to this. When it is drilled into you that sex is only legal between man and wife and anything else is fornication or adultery, even holding hands is serious.
However, now I've come to see for myself that sex has many faces to it. You have the passionate sex of discovery, sex to bind a relationship, sex for comfort and sex to scratch-that-itch to name a few.
If you have the mentioned outlook, hearing of a partners one night stands may raise some doubts regarding how they feel about you. Think about it. When you hold off sex you build up high expectations regarding performance and response. You start to think that sex should include one or more orgasms for both parties.
Rich (I'm guessing) probably feels that Janie has a more relaxed attitude toward sex and might not value it as much as him. This will also let him wonder whether he is 'just another' blip on her activity. What will she say of him some day? These can add up and mess with his head a lot.
Add into it that Janie has admitted a lessening of her sexual drive, orgasms and obviously her infatuation with Rich and now you'll have all these insecurities building up making him think he IS just an ex.
He could be transferring his expectations and reservations regarding the relationship, when sometimes they need to be considered as separate entities.
If you two are serious about this though, and were willing to bring this up to a forum of unknown people I'd recommend that you are ready and willing to take this to a professional counsellor. Even if you decide to terminate the romantic element of your relationship, parts of this may carry over to future relationships as it has done already. You have some issues that need resolving, nothing that is wrong with you, but just something you need to come to terms with.
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