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Originally Posted by anti fishstick
You are going to be attached to any person you have a relationship with whether it is a friend, pet, relative, or significant other. The attachment doesn't have to be big. But as long as you have emotions, and a capacity for memory, attachment is pretty much unavoidable. All it means is a close adherance or affection towards another...a bind or connection. When a close friend or relative dies, you may feel sadness and might even cry because you feel a sense of attachment to him/her, etc. We even give a sense of attachment to inanimate objects! Momentos that have sentimental value that we can't throw away, etc. If your house burned down, what one thing would you save? For me, it would be my violin. That's attachment.
The opposite of attachment is detachment. Are you distant, aloof and indifferent to your lover(s)? There is a difference between attachment and codependency. There is a difference between being attached to someone, and NEEDING someone...
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I guess when i was referring to attachment, i was referring to it in more of an undesirable, addictive sense. I guess i need to familiarize myself with a dictionary. So nevermind, I do feel attachment towards many things.
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Let me redefine what I meant by "right" person because I think you've misunderstood. I agree that everyone has something to offer me in terms of emotional/spiritual growth. I believe that many people have the qualities that match what i'd want in a lifelong partner. Some people believe that there's only ONE person out there for them and they either find it or they don't. This is the idea of a soulmate and I don't believe in that or any sort of weird cosmic connection. By "right" person, I was only referring to anyone that has all the qualities that you'd like for a lifelong partner. I've always believed the point of relationships was to search for this and as soon as you see something you can't live with that can't be solved, you must dump them and move on. The reason I don't choose polyamorous relationships if I believe many people could posses the qualities I seek is because I've already found it. One is enough and I am completely satisfied. To search out of my relationship would mean something was wrong, something was missing or I am unsatisfied
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I see what you're saying. Everyone wants to be satisfied. I just don't find monogamy satisfying at the moment.
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That may be true but that doesn't mean you won't repeat a similar relationship. I've had many relationships that seemed to "repeat" itself with the same kinds of patterns. People go through cycles throughout their lives and repeat patterns all the time.
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Well, ideally, i'm attempting to live my life devoid of unnecessary cycles. That's what this is about. Opening myself to the opportunities that present themselves and growing enough to get to a point where i recognize familiar territory and deal with it appropriately. I guess it is about personal growth more than anything. I feel like polyamory allows me more new experiences and more opportunities for growth than monogamy does.