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Originally Posted by littlebighead
I'm surprised how many people spank. Just look at this thread. But I feel that for those people who do spank or believe it's okay, don't really think about it too much. Usually, if a parent was spanked as a child, they usually feel they deserved it and don't see anything wrong with it.
I was spanked only once or twice in my life and it was horrifying. I would never ever spank my kids. It does feel like hypocrisy to me -- we teach our kids not be violent toward others, yet we feel it's okay to spank them? Yes, I see spanking as violence. Whether as an attention-getter or punishment, it's still inflicting pain on someone else.
My biggest problem with spanking, I feel, is that it changes the relationship between parent and child. A parent should always be a person who provides love and security, and I feel that spanking would undermine that. And spanking, I feel, makes both the parent and child disconnect from each other. And that's not something I would want, when I want an open, honest relationship with my child.
And finally, I don't find spanking effective. I know a few people who spank their kids, and they're always spanking them. I don't think it really works. I feel encouraged to hear that there are other parents who feel the same way I do, and have actually raised their kids without lifting a hand against them.
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I don't find that it has changed my realtionship with my children. Not at all.
Do you really believe that I can't be open and honest with my children because I have spanked them?
I find it very effective when used properly.
Violence is part of life. Pain is part of life. Look at the times we live in. I will not raise a child who is sheltered. They need to have these experiences to become well rounded humans.
But I will communicate with my children, I will dicipline my children the way I see fit. And if a spanking is needed, then that is what they shall get.
The way I see it. All the talk in the world will not correct a child when they have their mind set on something. You can put them in time outs until they are blue in the face. (And I do believe that method "time Out" has it's place)
And our kids have literally held their breath trying to get their way until their eyes all most rolled back in their heads....
I can see your point about your friends who spank on a constant basis. I think that any punishment, or corrective action that is used repeatedly as the only means. Ceases to be effective. You have to be creative. Each child is different. What works for some is not always affective with othe others.