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Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.
Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.
Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. OR, Three
men -- one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.
Q, Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q. What's the difference between men and women?
A. A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q. How does a man keep his youth?
A. By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mails?
A. Rename the folder "Instruction manuals." or "Directions"
Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one of them will stop to ask for directions.
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