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cdnjeepin · 11-18-2004, 07:57 AM

Been in that postion my self, Had a wife who I was madly in love with..but she had no sex drive, none, zip nadda..we had sex regularly before we got married..after we got married it stopped. The last year we were together we had sex I think 10 times that year..to her that was a normal healthy sex drive, to me it wasn't.

We talked about it a lot, i forced her to go to her doctor and find out why she had no sex drive. Turns out she has a low testosterone levels which is rare and she could get shots to increase her amount of it. I told her it was up to her to get the shots, I felt bad enough for makin her go to the doctor. She took the shots for a few months but that was it, she didn't like getting a needle.

So it was back to the same old thing, Me laying in bed with the women I love who I cannot have a sexual relationship with. Eventually I had a nervous/emotional break down. I couldn't take it anymore. I need a sexual physical relationship and was not going to be getting it from her. I knew I didn't want to cheat and I didn't want to hurt her..but in the end something had to give..

I broke the poor girls heart, still kills me to this day to think of the night that i broke down and told her that I had to leave. She was not to happy about it, but I needed something she wasn't going to give me and had no desire to try and want to fix.

That was 2 years ago, It took her probably 6 months or so to realize that there was a problem at home and I did the right thing, now we are great friends and get along perfect.

So now 2 years later I am still single, no GF and only had a couple of "friends" over the last 2 years, although I have had more sex in the last 2 years then in the last 5 of my marriage.

People always ask me how it is different now then when I was married, since I am not having a sexual relationship on a regular basis'(sp). Well..I don't have the opportunity right now so the craving is not there, sure I want it..but not like when you go to bed every night beside the person you are in love with and want to have sex with them, feel close to them etc..and know that you can't cause they just have no desire to have sex..Its a major mind trip..

Sometimes I think it would have been easier to just have a fling on the side, since I loved my wife to death, but then I would feel quilty as hell, So I couldn't. I went the other way and ended our marriage. Which was a lot harder and more costly.

But in the end, we are both happy, get along great and are good friends. If I had cheated, I doubt we would be friends at all.

So, I dunno if cheating is the way to go or not, I couldn't and went the other way..which is a lot harder to do.

EDIT - I might mention that this started when we were 26 or so, I just turned 33, seperated when we were 31.

To me that is to soon for a healthy young couple to stop having sex, in yer mid 20's . Now If i was in my late 40's or something I am sure I would have gone a different way and just dealt with it.. but when yer young, like me

, Its a very important part of the relationship, makes you feel closer together.

11-18-2004, 07:57 AM	#17 (permalink)
cdnjeepin Crazy Location: Truro, Nova Scotia	Been in that postion my self, Had a wife who I was madly in love with..but she had no sex drive, none, zip nadda..we had sex regularly before we got married..after we got married it stopped. The last year we were together we had sex I think 10 times that year..to her that was a normal healthy sex drive, to me it wasn't. We talked about it a lot, i forced her to go to her doctor and find out why she had no sex drive. Turns out she has a low testosterone levels which is rare and she could get shots to increase her amount of it. I told her it was up to her to get the shots, I felt bad enough for makin her go to the doctor. She took the shots for a few months but that was it, she didn't like getting a needle. So it was back to the same old thing, Me laying in bed with the women I love who I cannot have a sexual relationship with. Eventually I had a nervous/emotional break down. I couldn't take it anymore. I need a sexual physical relationship and was not going to be getting it from her. I knew I didn't want to cheat and I didn't want to hurt her..but in the end something had to give.. I broke the poor girls heart, still kills me to this day to think of the night that i broke down and told her that I had to leave. She was not to happy about it, but I needed something she wasn't going to give me and had no desire to try and want to fix. That was 2 years ago, It took her probably 6 months or so to realize that there was a problem at home and I did the right thing, now we are great friends and get along perfect. So now 2 years later I am still single, no GF and only had a couple of "friends" over the last 2 years, although I have had more sex in the last 2 years then in the last 5 of my marriage. People always ask me how it is different now then when I was married, since I am not having a sexual relationship on a regular basis'(sp). Well..I don't have the opportunity right now so the craving is not there, sure I want it..but not like when you go to bed every night beside the person you are in love with and want to have sex with them, feel close to them etc..and know that you can't cause they just have no desire to have sex..Its a major mind trip.. Sometimes I think it would have been easier to just have a fling on the side, since I loved my wife to death, but then I would feel quilty as hell, So I couldn't. I went the other way and ended our marriage. Which was a lot harder and more costly. But in the end, we are both happy, get along great and are good friends. If I had cheated, I doubt we would be friends at all. So, I dunno if cheating is the way to go or not, I couldn't and went the other way..which is a lot harder to do. EDIT - I might mention that this started when we were 26 or so, I just turned 33, seperated when we were 31. To me that is to soon for a healthy young couple to stop having sex, in yer mid 20's . Now If i was in my late 40's or something I am sure I would have gone a different way and just dealt with it.. but when yer young, like me , Its a very important part of the relationship, makes you feel closer together. Last edited by cdnjeepin; 11-18-2004 at 09:34 AM..