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Originally Posted by mistered
I know that everyone jumps to the knee-jerk "no, it's wrong." I used to be the first one to snap back with that. But let's face it...isn't withholding sex and passion also a breach of the marriage contract? We NEED a good sex life to be healthy. I believe a lot of people need it as much as food and water. Our society's repression of sex causes a ton of problems.
I believe you need to try everything you can with your wife. After that, the answers aren't easy despite the hammer you're going to get from some people. I'm in the same boat as you. I've been married a looooooong time, I've never cheated, I'm attentive and I've tried everything. But she doesn't want sex much, period. And it's not going to get any better. You have a tough call to make. Give it your best shot with your wife. After that..??????
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I agree for the most part. Sexual relationships with our SO are more than just physical pleasure. There is just physical sex, but in a marriage there should be more. I see sexual aspects of a marriage being as important as talking. There are bonds and intimacy that is shared during sexual acts that can't be replaced in any other way.
I do however feel that there is no excuse for cheating. Cheating only makes the problem bigger. Two wrongs don't make a right. Counseling is important, talking about the problem and taking action to correct it is the only real solution. If your wife/husband refuses to address the problem, it may be time to move on.