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Dog Lick
i cant quite remember how this goes, but...
there was this woman who lived alone. she was the the type of person who, after dark was extremely scared of any noise. one nite she woke up and heard a "drip drip drip" out in the kitchen. to scared to check it out, she put her hand under the bed and felt the reassuring lick on her hand from her dog. this went on for about a week, until one nite. unable to stand it any more, she went into the kitchen to find where the "drip" was coming from. she finally located it under the kitchen sink. she opened the cupboard doors and let out a loud peircing scream...
under the sink was her dog. stabbed to death. the blood pooling beneath creating the "drip" noise...
and with the body was a note reading: "Humans Can Lick To"
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"Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular." 
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