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Ahh, what a timely thread. I'm ready for a rant.
Windows is such a godawful atrocious platform for web development that it even managed to make php suck ass. Let me compare:
Install PHP + access MySQL DB on Red Hat / Fedora:
-up2date -i php
-mysql_connect($host,$user,$pass)
-voi fucking la.
Install PHP + access MSSQL DB on Windows:
-Go through PHP installer wizard.
-Select "install under IIS 6 or above" option since I'm running IIS 6 on Win2k3
-Roll back install when it breaks, re-run setup and choose "IIS 4 or above" option.
-Change permissions so IIS user can access PHP stuff.
-Configure IIS to recognize index.php
-Enable MSSQL extension
-Wait for 10 minutes as all .php files refuse to load and eventually time out
-Attempt to restart IIS service.
-Wait 5 minutes as it attempts to shut down, times out, and is caught in limbo where it's eternally in a state of shutting down.
-Reboot server.
-Find out that IIS user does not have access to MSSQL extension DLL. Why in the FUCK did that make IIS just sit there? That doesn't even make sense. Would it kill them to throw in a simple "access denied" error?
-MSSQL login failed: "Not associated with a trusted SQL Server connection"
-Make sure integrated security is disabled in php.ini since I'm using SQL authentication and sending a username & password. it is.
-Try ODBC connection. "No such DSN".
-Remove User DSN, re-add it as System DSN.
-Some sort of different error message.
-Try ADODB library
-"Not associated with a trusted SQL Server connection"
-Go back to MSSQL library
-Try running PHP script from the command line. For no fucking reason at all, this works like a charm.
-Loosen up permissions to MSSQL extension and associated DLL's knowing it won't fix a damn thing. Of course it doesn't.
-Give up for the night and start drinking.
Windows is excellent for word processing. It does a fine job of checking e-mail and Web browsing. Hell, it's even great for gaming. But whoever the fuckhole is who said "Hey, let's take this pile of crap and rig it into being a server platform!" needs to be dragged by his balls through broken glass and razor blades and then drowned in a vat of rubbing alcohol.
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