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Originally Posted by tomintroy
I can't tell you for sure why this bothers me but it's killing all my feelings toward this woman that I’ve had such a great time with. I also learned that she cheated in most if not all her relationships up till 1990. My own personal history is that I was cheated on in my marriage and could never get over it. Some of that may be the source as well as she may have had many more partners than that. In the 80's she also was quite the partier with cocaine. That seemed to have ended in 1988. So why am I wasting my time if I've so many doubts? I don't want to let go of this one if most of the problem is mine. She's also been single for 20 years after she cheated 3 months into her marriage. I’m trying to cope with this new knowledge, THAT’S WHY I’M WRIGHTING HERE! So save your fucking hostility’s!
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Yowza...calm down there cowboy.
But what you should ask yourself and her how dedicated has she been in the relationships she's had SINCE then. If she hasn't had a prolonged relationship since 1990 I'd be more concerned if she was ready for a long term relationship more than about how many folks she's slept with. If she's had a few long term relationships and hasn't cheated in them then likely she has changed and the wild child she once was is gone so the 10 one nighters in the 14 years since she's been married probably isn't that big of a deal. However if she DID cheat during her relationship or if she hasn't had any long termers...then I'd wager it ain't out of her system yet and the ball is now in your court. Regardless though if you intend to stay with her you need to either get over it or move on.