That's a bad situation to be in. It looks like she's playing you though. As a relatively impartial outsider, I say get a divorce now. Don't consult her about it, except when you're giving her the papers to sign. It seems that you're more than willing to be taken in by what she says, and that's not healthy for you. Whether she genuinely wants things to change or not, it's pretty obvious that they're not going to.
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