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Rich · 11-13-2004, 12:48 PM

Well first off I feel I need to reply to st33lr4t's comments...

You didn't listen to a thing I said. i admit to being an idiot. I don't blame her for mfeeling the way she does right now either, and i know I am to blame. As for your comment about "not being convinced", that's not my problem. We came to this forum for help, not to hear whether or not you believe my reasons for coming on here seeking help. Just keep in mind this that I didn;t mention: my acceptance of her past isn't a 'new development': I've accepted it for quite some time now. The problem now, at present, is that she has a problem with my having HAD a problem in the first place. We have talked, and she has told me that she doesn't hold it against me that I had a problem, she just wants to know WHY I DID, the reasoning being that if she doesn;t understand, she will probably always doubt, and thus she wants to understand.

As for dating anew, we've done that. And it's helped very much. I don't know if I'm really conveying our problem here very well. Everyone here seems to think that we're both miserable all the time. We're not. We're very happy with each other most of the time: the problem is that whenever we get in an argument, about ANY topic, she starts thinking about the way I acted in the past (regarding her past) and then she starts questioning the whole thing again because she still doesn't UNDERSTAND why i acted that way, despite the fact that when things are going well, everything is great. like i said previously, we're not stupid. We're looking for help. If we both thought this relationship was 100% unsalvageable, we'd ditch it.

For Lockjaw's reply, yes, I do mean JUST for physical pleasure. Sex is not something I will do for physical pleasure alone: I need the spiritual connection as well, of being with someone I know and care for (not someone I just met at the bar). And as for Lockjaw's suggestion about sex, it's really not relevant. Sex is not the issue here, at all. I hope I've helped clarify things a touch

Anyway, thanks all for replying.

Rich

11-13-2004, 12:48 PM	#25 (permalink)
Rich Upright	Well first off I feel I need to reply to st33lr4t's comments... You didn't listen to a thing I said. i admit to being an idiot. I don't blame her for mfeeling the way she does right now either, and i know I am to blame. As for your comment about "not being convinced", that's not my problem. We came to this forum for help, not to hear whether or not you believe my reasons for coming on here seeking help. Just keep in mind this that I didn;t mention: my acceptance of her past isn't a 'new development': I've accepted it for quite some time now. The problem now, at present, is that she has a problem with my having HAD a problem in the first place. We have talked, and she has told me that she doesn't hold it against me that I had a problem, she just wants to know WHY I DID, the reasoning being that if she doesn;t understand, she will probably always doubt, and thus she wants to understand. As for dating anew, we've done that. And it's helped very much. I don't know if I'm really conveying our problem here very well. Everyone here seems to think that we're both miserable all the time. We're not. We're very happy with each other most of the time: the problem is that whenever we get in an argument, about ANY topic, she starts thinking about the way I acted in the past (regarding her past) and then she starts questioning the whole thing again because she still doesn't UNDERSTAND why i acted that way, despite the fact that when things are going well, everything is great. like i said previously, we're not stupid. We're looking for help. If we both thought this relationship was 100% unsalvageable, we'd ditch it. For Lockjaw's reply, yes, I do mean JUST for physical pleasure. Sex is not something I will do for physical pleasure alone: I need the spiritual connection as well, of being with someone I know and care for (not someone I just met at the bar). And as for Lockjaw's suggestion about sex, it's really not relevant. Sex is not the issue here, at all. I hope I've helped clarify things a touch Anyway, thanks all for replying. Rich