Janie

The story goes, we hit it off, we got together. Fast forward ~4 months:

We have the PAST HISTORY conversation. I'm young, I'm clean, and I don't have a large number of past hookups (6 not including my current man). He asks, and I tell him things like who, when, why. Four out of six are one-night stands. He freaked out completely. Sex is really important to him, and he believes one-night stands to be wrong. After this first conversation, for 4-5 months we continually had arguments about my past, with him making comments like "How could you possibly do something like that?" and overall making me feel like an unworthy whoring slut who cares nothing for the wonders of the loving relationship. We were apart for the summer, and he finally told me my past doesn't bother him anymore.

Through this all, I suffered (and am still suffering) a huge downward spiralling libido. This also caused many arguments and sleepless nights. First I orgasmed rarely, then none at all, then I just didn't want to have sex anymore. Every time I didn't orgasm he'd curl up into a corner and cry and ask me why I didn't love him, to which I repeatedly answered that I did, but he continued to ask me questions like that. He was also under the impression that sex in my other long-term relationship was stellar and wholly without problems, to which I also assured him it was not perfect.

About a month ago, I admitted that I'd fallen out of love with him. I still love to spend time with him, and I wish things were different. This led to a talk about why he'd had this huge problem with my past to begin with. It turns out one of his exes had cheated on him with his best friend, and he'd also cheated on one of his other exes, though it wasn't intercourse. He confessed to me that not cheating was higher up on his list of morals than no promiscuity. I don't understand why he has such a big problem with me not matching up with his morals when he himself violated his own morals and seems to have come to terms with that fairly quickly.

Now I can't stop thinking about this entire chain of events. It's ruining things more, and we're arguing more often. I can't help still feeling depressed and angry about all this, even though he apologized and says he isn't bothered by it anymore.

What do I do? Advice would be great, especially if something similar has happened to you.

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