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raeanna74 · 11-12-2004, 02:02 PM

My condolances. Honestly if you've given her an ultimatum then you need stand by it. Otherwise it was no good. You do need to get angry about this too. I don't mean just lash out but show her that it hurts you by yelling or doing something out of character. If you just react by simple conversation then there's nothing for her to fear. Not that she should fear you but she should fear cheating on you for some reason. Making you angry, alienating you, hurting you, or you filing for divorce. No matter what this action of her's, whether she's addicted or not, says that she doesn't love you as much as she should. Your reaction of not wanting to be with her sexually is normal and good for you. Investing sexually in your relationship when she's daily betraying you would not be healthy for you.

Do you have any concrete evidence or any witnesses who would testify that she's been cheating on you? As the man it can be sometimes difficult to gain the custody of the child if you have no evidence of the other person being untrustworthy. I'm guessing you would want the custody of your child. If you collect some evidence that you can use in the divorce proceedings to preserve your custody of the child then you will be better off and so will your child. I personally think it would be harmful for you to allow your child to be exposed to her lifestyle.

I and my hubby are swingers, meaning we meet other couples to play sexually. We do this in an open atmosphere where there is a lot of communication and trust. We do not betray one another and if either one of us is uncomfortable with anything that happens we listen to them and stop what is happening or whatever we are doing immediately. Your wife's behavior is deceitful, even though she's come clean. It is hurting you and she knows it yet continues. That is selfish of her and wrong.

Please don't tolerate it any longer. You need to get to a lawyer soon, give them evidence of the affairs, get custody of the child, and get her out of the house. IF she can prove to you that even while you are apart she can learn restraint then go ahead get back together IF you feel comfortable with it. If she hasn't spent SOME time apart from you and away from other men the whole time then don't trust her. Not just for your sake but for your child's. If she's out late often then I'm guessing you are being the parent. She's not being a responsible, loving parent then.

This is hard, painful, and scary but you can get through it. You have my prayers, and thoughts. Good Luck.

11-12-2004, 02:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	My condolances. Honestly if you've given her an ultimatum then you need stand by it. Otherwise it was no good. You do need to get angry about this too. I don't mean just lash out but show her that it hurts you by yelling or doing something out of character. If you just react by simple conversation then there's nothing for her to fear. Not that she should fear you but she should fear cheating on you for some reason. Making you angry, alienating you, hurting you, or you filing for divorce. No matter what this action of her's, whether she's addicted or not, says that she doesn't love you as much as she should. Your reaction of not wanting to be with her sexually is normal and good for you. Investing sexually in your relationship when she's daily betraying you would not be healthy for you. Do you have any concrete evidence or any witnesses who would testify that she's been cheating on you? As the man it can be sometimes difficult to gain the custody of the child if you have no evidence of the other person being untrustworthy. I'm guessing you would want the custody of your child. If you collect some evidence that you can use in the divorce proceedings to preserve your custody of the child then you will be better off and so will your child. I personally think it would be harmful for you to allow your child to be exposed to her lifestyle. I and my hubby are swingers, meaning we meet other couples to play sexually. We do this in an open atmosphere where there is a lot of communication and trust. We do not betray one another and if either one of us is uncomfortable with anything that happens we listen to them and stop what is happening or whatever we are doing immediately. Your wife's behavior is deceitful, even though she's come clean. It is hurting you and she knows it yet continues. That is selfish of her and wrong. Please don't tolerate it any longer. You need to get to a lawyer soon, give them evidence of the affairs, get custody of the child, and get her out of the house. IF she can prove to you that even while you are apart she can learn restraint then go ahead get back together IF you feel comfortable with it. If she hasn't spent SOME time apart from you and away from other men the whole time then don't trust her. Not just for your sake but for your child's. If she's out late often then I'm guessing you are being the parent. She's not being a responsible, loving parent then. This is hard, painful, and scary but you can get through it. You have my prayers, and thoughts. Good Luck. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.