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Mzm · 11-12-2004, 01:38 PM

So my wife's been cheating on me ever since we've been married. We've been married almost 2 years now. I've always been suspicious that she's been hooking up with other men, but have wanted to ignore this in some way I guess.

We have one of those circumstantional marriages where we hooked up, had a lot of sex, got pregnant within 3 months of being with each other. Having a child was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. My wife and I both were heavy partiers, liked to drink, smoke, and "eat" whatever. When we found out we were about to be parents, our life turned upside down, of course. I immediately cleaned up, finished school, got my college degree, and started a career to provide for my family. Life was good for a time. We got married a year after our son was born and, I thought, we were both comfortable. Turns out that wasn't the case.

Just 3-4 months ago, a year and a half into our marriage, I find out she's been sleeping with other men. The only reason I even found out is because a friend of hers confronted her while we were out one nite and her friend was pissed at her because my wife made out with her brother. My wife's friend was yelling loud enough for me to hear so my wife had no choice but to come clean with me. My wife tried to downplay as much of it as possible and I truly wanted to believe her at the time. I've been as calm and coolheaded as can be with what I was finding out but it was getting worse by the week. I had soon come to find out she had slept with a friend of mine who had gotten a divorce from his wife right before my wife and I were married. This so-called friend was there when my child was born and was always a good friend to my wife and I. My wife and he were always hanging out and she was staying out late and with him often. She finally told me she had sex with him. I practically had to manipulate her into telling me whom she's hooked up with just for my piece of mind because I wanted to give her every chance to come clean with me to see if we can start over. The story goes on and she's continued to stay out late many nites and I'm absolutely paranoid she's hooking up with more men.

At the initial time of me finding out she was with other men, I gave her an ultimatum, either we get a divorce, or she seek counseling. She continues to claim she loves me very much and doesn't want to lose me, though she cannot help herself hooking up with other men. It's an addiction she has, and I want to help her though it by seeking professional help. She's been seeing a counselor for a couple months now, but not much change. There's a new man in her life that she hangs out with and always swore that she wasn't hooking up with him. Of cousre, I played the fool and was wanting to trust her as much as possible, but it turns out she was hooking up with him too. I found out about this one because the guy sent her an e-mail with a pic attached of my wife and him kissing!!! I happened to be sitting next to her when she checked her e-mail.....it was one of the most painful things I have ever seen.

We are now at the point where we are living in the same house but taking a "break". She still claims she wants to make the marriage work and I can't help but respect that. I care deeply for my child and want him to have a mother and father around. The sad thing about all this is my wife and I get along great, we hardly ever fight, in fact we never had a fight until I found out she was cheating on me, and even then, we just discussed what was happening, it was barely a fight. I am at the point where I do want to divorce her, in fact, I'd prefer to get an annulment considering she's been cheating and lying to me the whole marriage. I feel as if my life has fallen apart and I really don't know what to do, deep down I want to make it work but I don't know that I ever want to be with my wife again, physically and emotionally. I'm so absolutely confused at the fact the she still claims to love me dearly and wants to be with me.

Any help/suggestions would be greatly appreciated, and thanks in advance if you read through this whole story, though I feel as if this is really half of the story, it's just a start.

11-12-2004, 01:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mzm Upright Location: Here...and there	My wife cheats on me... So my wife's been cheating on me ever since we've been married. We've been married almost 2 years now. I've always been suspicious that she's been hooking up with other men, but have wanted to ignore this in some way I guess. We have one of those circumstantional marriages where we hooked up, had a lot of sex, got pregnant within 3 months of being with each other. Having a child was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. My wife and I both were heavy partiers, liked to drink, smoke, and "eat" whatever. When we found out we were about to be parents, our life turned upside down, of course. I immediately cleaned up, finished school, got my college degree, and started a career to provide for my family. Life was good for a time. We got married a year after our son was born and, I thought, we were both comfortable. Turns out that wasn't the case. Just 3-4 months ago, a year and a half into our marriage, I find out she's been sleeping with other men. The only reason I even found out is because a friend of hers confronted her while we were out one nite and her friend was pissed at her because my wife made out with her brother. My wife's friend was yelling loud enough for me to hear so my wife had no choice but to come clean with me. My wife tried to downplay as much of it as possible and I truly wanted to believe her at the time. I've been as calm and coolheaded as can be with what I was finding out but it was getting worse by the week. I had soon come to find out she had slept with a friend of mine who had gotten a divorce from his wife right before my wife and I were married. This so-called friend was there when my child was born and was always a good friend to my wife and I. My wife and he were always hanging out and she was staying out late and with him often. She finally told me she had sex with him. I practically had to manipulate her into telling me whom she's hooked up with just for my piece of mind because I wanted to give her every chance to come clean with me to see if we can start over. The story goes on and she's continued to stay out late many nites and I'm absolutely paranoid she's hooking up with more men. At the initial time of me finding out she was with other men, I gave her an ultimatum, either we get a divorce, or she seek counseling. She continues to claim she loves me very much and doesn't want to lose me, though she cannot help herself hooking up with other men. It's an addiction she has, and I want to help her though it by seeking professional help. She's been seeing a counselor for a couple months now, but not much change. There's a new man in her life that she hangs out with and always swore that she wasn't hooking up with him. Of cousre, I played the fool and was wanting to trust her as much as possible, but it turns out she was hooking up with him too. I found out about this one because the guy sent her an e-mail with a pic attached of my wife and him kissing!!! I happened to be sitting next to her when she checked her e-mail.....it was one of the most painful things I have ever seen. We are now at the point where we are living in the same house but taking a "break". She still claims she wants to make the marriage work and I can't help but respect that. I care deeply for my child and want him to have a mother and father around. The sad thing about all this is my wife and I get along great, we hardly ever fight, in fact we never had a fight until I found out she was cheating on me, and even then, we just discussed what was happening, it was barely a fight. I am at the point where I do want to divorce her, in fact, I'd prefer to get an annulment considering she's been cheating and lying to me the whole marriage. I feel as if my life has fallen apart and I really don't know what to do, deep down I want to make it work but I don't know that I ever want to be with my wife again, physically and emotionally. I'm so absolutely confused at the fact the she still claims to love me dearly and wants to be with me. Any help/suggestions would be greatly appreciated, and thanks in advance if you read through this whole story, though I feel as if this is really half of the story, it's just a start.