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*update*
well, the next day after grounding them both to their rooms, the stepson decided that he was moving back in with his father. My stepdaughter MAY have finally realized how she's been and it seems like she's making a concerted effort to do things right for a change.
'manic_skafe', I've been their stepfather for just over 5 years now, have known them for almost 8. When their parents divorced, their father went sorta off the deepend and the kids latched on to me. we developed a close relationship. You are sort of on track about the resentment thing as it applies to my stepson, hence him moving back in with his father.
He was made aware that he will not be moving back in with us at all, although he will make the regular weekend visits for his mother. I'm angry at him for that but i'm also a little depressed about it. I feel like I couldn't reach him, that I failed.
anyway, thanks for those who responded.
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