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Hey SlapHappyMalice! Thanks for sharing your woes with us. You are in the right place. I grew up with a very low sense of self-esteem. I had what I considered a personal sickness until about 18-19 years old. I look back now at the things I did to pull me out of my mindset and it really isn't rocket science. This is a simplified answer, but take it for what it's worth. Once I gained self esteem and started to like the person I was, I passed some of my knowledge to my older brother who was suffering from the same types of symptoms. Here are some things I told him:
1) I told him that he needs to set some goals for himself. Set some short term goals as well as some long term goals. His problem was being afraid of failure so I had to reassure him that everyone fails sometimes. You will never taste success if you don't fail.
2) Baby steps. Don't expect be everything you have ever wanted to be, or do everything you ever want to do without taking on little bits at a time.
3) Don't be afraid to try new things. What do you really want to do? Do you want to bungee jump? Well, grab a few friends and do it. What is stopping you? Want to learn to drive? Tell your parents to take you to the church parking lot and teach you. College? Apply for financial aid and go meet people. College was one of the best things to ever happen to me socially. I am sure you will see what I mean once you get there.
The most important thing I learned and passed on to him is that it will never help to sit around and wish you could have done more, or could be more of who you want to be. YOU are the only person that can make decisions about YOU. "Good things will not come to those who do nothing." That's my personal quote. You can use it if you want.
As far as jobs go, what do you want to do? You have experience with video game consols? Have you thought about becoming a game tester? What about some other technical role? You write well and know your way around a computer so there may be doorways to look into for potential jobs.
Keep us posted. Good luck!
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Doh!!!!
-Homer Simpson
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