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self-confidence is a pillar of a normal life, and it sounds like you've lost touch with yours. start with the fact that you are abnormal, and that's *wonderful*. you can either let the challenges bestowed by nature destroy what makes you human - your mind - or you can acknowledge it and start on the path of growing within your skin.
the fact that you had the courage to be so honest on the internet is nothing to scoff at (if anybody thinks otherwise, just think of how few people are actually completing honest on the internet, even if talking with/to (maybe especially) a stranger). because of that, i think that you're the type of person who can pull himself up with his bootstraps and live as a hero against all challenge.
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